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Deviant for 6 Years
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Today I leave
and so they propped me up
on crutches that felt more like crop sticks.
Today, they stuffed me back up like a doll,
and put me in clothes that no longer hid me like the sheets on the bed.
(Used again are my shoulders just to hang clothes).
Today, they handed me back my fortunes,
and I took them back willingly,
even though they no longer belonged to me.
And as they wheeled me out covered in guilt,
the ceiling lights didn’t bloom;
their usual gold coronas weren't there to kiss my eyes.
They didn't even wish me goodbye.
Today as I write this,
the window by my bed
no longer looks like the generous slice of sky
that I was once so thankful for;
that was once saved for just me.
Not today nor ever will they understand the miracle
that I wasn't ever dead;
that in truth I was free,
that I was an empty casket.
:icondragonflame45:dragonflame45 1 2
I don't fault you,
that you must tire of me
always finding new ways to lose again.
But tragedy is my only wall of pride still standing.
So please take my heart at the front gate.
But leave it at that,
lest I learn to keep you with guilt.
:icondragonflame45:dragonflame45 1 0
We sat on our bones
butting against the small ivory tub
with knees tucked,
our toes scrunched.
The morning came through the skylight
dipped in an invisible haze.
For awhile we watched its rays
unobtrusively inch its way in with us
until the water turned tepid.
You asked that we leave it alone
and waited for some response.
But the grey water would give none.
:icondragonflame45:dragonflame45 0 0
I don’t own any sun dresses
or love that comes in
small white packets.
And for all the layers of barn red paint
the rot in the wood still shows.
But I can uncoil
this knot of arteries and veins
(green from blue).
And let this happen
(if you want it to).
:icondragonflame45:dragonflame45 0 0
I've fallen in love with a dream,
one my eyes have taped and re-run a hundred times.
Of deck chairs laid out on the missing balcony
(where the bougainvilleas are also kept).
There they draw their unfolded silhouettes
from behind clean drapes
that only ever part so slightly with the breeze,
to show a glimpse of bare feet
or a glass ash tray.
No,I can never make out what's ever said,
but it never wanes in the beautiful sun.
:icondragonflame45:dragonflame45 0 0
I would of
but then morning came
to shut off all the lights
and when it left
it had my hand on the way out.
:icondragonflame45:dragonflame45 0 0
I don”t need it.
not rust on my fingers.
not the crackle of candle meets wax,
there's no need to hold out till then.
If you must ask,
you have never owed it.
:icondragonflame45:dragonflame45 0 0
Loving you,
has been like breathing.
Winter drawing it out the most.
Unsheathing it from my blue lips
for none to hear it.
I always let the bitterness stain my tongue red,
before I breath you back in again.
:icondragonflame45:dragonflame45 1 0
I've left a small light on,
the door unlocked and the wounds unstitched.
I’m not waiting though.
Come in whenever it's time to.
I'm going to sleep.
:icondragonflame45:dragonflame45 0 0
Diamond eyes
symmetrical, unbreakable.
You watched the world through'em
without the slightest glint.
As flawless as obscene.
You wore diamond eyes.
:icondragonflame45:dragonflame45 0 0
Your eyelashes wake like the curbs of grass
still wet with droplets of dew.
You consider picking up.
Already five missed calls.
But its too early
and your throat's still as dry and dusty as the peeling carpet
your words as flowery as the thin sun faded drapes.
So instead you lurch to the window
stale drink still in hand.
To peer through the blinds
across the stretch of scorching cement
at the men and women in the motel pool
laughing, bathing
in the bleach colored water
in the shining glare of every crest.
You rather say that there was a mix of pity and alcohol
in the red vessels of your eyes
but if you were to be honest
some really petty envy.
:icondragonflame45:dragonflame45 1 0
Its the pleasure of wasting our time
without any dreams.
Just bright skies
whose warmth spends another day inside
nestled with our shut eyes in bed
It's what wells up in your eyes,
but comes out in a big crooked smile.
:icondragonflame45:dragonflame45 1 0
I didn't ask
you already knew I needed to hear it
but your eyes didn't blink.
They stayed affixed,
unvexed by it,
preoccupied with the wisps of embers
picked up by the rising warmth.
As if it were a pyre,
the silence you gave was more condolent than wistful.
You tossed a handful of sand into the fire
to watch it crackle and plume
or be smothered.
:icondragonflame45:dragonflame45 0 0
Sometimes I still spend the same after work hours we shared,
with the paper cups of coffee.
Watching the traffic flow away from dawn
and then further.
To a curb where the stream of headlights
still pulled on us.
:icondragonflame45:dragonflame45 0 0
The worst was lulled
with  the hush tones of lapping waves,
when it scarcely stirs
like bathwater that's gone cold.
Before it beached you on shore.
:icondragonflame45:dragonflame45 0 0
I gawk at them
shallow eyes
set there in the surface of that flat unblinking face.
Even now,
they feel like they were planted there
in the dirt.
and in the dark.

by a stranger
with even stranger hands.
Only just reddish in the corners
when they feel
varicose and shriveled.
They say I am alright
but you wouldn’t believe how wrong they are.
:icondragonflame45:dragonflame45 0 0


Finale by Kuvshinov-Ilya Finale :iconkuvshinov-ilya:Kuvshinov-Ilya 10,036 342
My father was there, and then he wasn't.
I still dream about it, sometimes, when the nights grow warm in the late spring. My mother's hand is white, clenched hard around my own. She went later, in a different way. Not better, but different. Who knows, maybe she thought it was worse.
I don't remember his face. I was too small. I remember his legs, the texture of his pants, the crook of his neck when he would lift me in his arms. He was a quiet man, and strong. It's hard to speak of the time before. When you tell a true story well, you become your old self for awhile. Bad enough to be that person once. I prefer happier stories, most days. Stories where vanished things may yet be found, and mud is made only by rain.  
But it's not the truth. He would have raised me into an honest woman. That's what my mother said, once, deep in drink. She rarely spoke of him. She felt the same way about stories; too much pain, don't look back. But also, that things change with the telling. Anything s
:iconsaartha:saartha 12 13
Sushi Donuts by theresahelmer Sushi Donuts :icontheresahelmer:theresahelmer 855 68
toeing the edge of the rubicon
freshman year of college,
i break the first rule of dorming with someone else:
i touch her stuff. it’s october, and just starting
to get cold. i wear a sweater and a jacket at all times now,
but i’m always caught off guard by the rain.
i don’t watch the weather reports anymore;
this has something to do with
why i am on my roommate’s side of the dorm,
but i do not connect the two.
it takes me an hour. it shouldn’t,
but it does. i stop to look out the window, to examine my hands,
to wonder why they are not shaking.
i stop to write, but i don’t get much farther than
“dear mom and dad” before i give up.
my roommate won’t come home for at least
one more day. i have all the time in the world.
all the time i have left could fit in the palm of my hand,
and there’d still be room for the pills.
the thing is, my roommate gets sick a lot.
chronic migraines, asthma, the works. i watched
her unpack all her pill bottles the first night on ca
:iconmisfitablegrae:MisfitableGrae 56 5
SUSHI TIME by Apolar SUSHI TIME :iconapolar:Apolar 911 101 Life is Strange by saltytowel Life is Strange :iconsaltytowel:saltytowel 2,006 160 To Tears by Pelboy To Tears :iconpelboy:Pelboy 1,963 102 There is a God by BenHeine There is a God :iconbenheine:BenHeine 696 98 Quiet Zone by agnes-cecile Quiet Zone :iconagnes-cecile:agnes-cecile 1,495 44 BAT-MAN S1E3 | Razor?  I Barely Know 'Er! by TheGouldenWay BAT-MAN S1E3 | Razor? I Barely Know 'Er! :iconthegouldenway:TheGouldenWay 75 7 Domodedovo Airport in Moscow by Zamenabatareek Domodedovo Airport in Moscow :iconzamenabatareek:Zamenabatareek 417 20 retired by totorrl retired :icontotorrl:totorrl 6,416 166 Thank you BEAUCOUP!!! by YAMsgarden Thank you BEAUCOUP!!! :iconyamsgarden:YAMsgarden 3,056 205 BAT-MAN S1E1 | O-pun-ing Scene by TheGouldenWay BAT-MAN S1E1 | O-pun-ing Scene :iconthegouldenway:TheGouldenWay 131 15
The sound of light
striking rough against the hillside.
I am fond of this town,
spinning out
in a loom of rain and sun,
all its shining green threads
the way one is fond
of a mountain
on Mars.
That strange, sideways love,
found in the word ‘someday’
and in ‘used to.’
The red dust and the trumpet of light, and there,
there, suddenly there
the motes of humanity.
:iconsaartha:saartha 12 5
reality continues to ruin my life. by megfinyte reality continues to ruin my life. :iconmegfinyte:megfinyte 725 20



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Just some university student writing bad poetry.


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SenoritaBlack Featured By Owner Sep 11, 2016
Thank you very much for collecting Mercy. :)
KwisatzHaddascratch Featured By Owner Nov 13, 2015  Hobbyist General Artist
Thanks for the fave
wei-en Featured By Owner Nov 9, 2015
Thank you for the watch!
comatose-comet Featured By Owner Mar 3, 2015  Hobbyist Writer
thanks for the fave :rose:
CloudNumber8 Featured By Owner Apr 12, 2014   General Artist
Thank you for the watch :) 
acjub Featured By Owner Jan 24, 2012  Hobbyist Traditional Artist
Hi! :wave:
Thank you so very much for adding me to your watch list, it means a lot:love:
CausticOddity Featured By Owner Feb 20, 2011
Welcome :)
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